Amanda Hinkle- Week Three

This is week three and I have realized I don’t feel incredible useful. I think at this point we all are trying to prove that our volunteerism, or internship, is somehow meaningful or contributing. Thus far, I feel pretty useless. When people ask why I am doing this volunteer service, I generally say, “I’m in the Honor’s program at Missouri Southern in Joplin. I have been given an amazing opportunity for education from them, and they want us to give back to others, in a way.” Don’t get me wrong, I love this experience and wouldn’t be exposed to these life observances otherwise, but I don’t feel like I am giving back. I have discovered though that life is a repeating cycle, continuously filled with brief moments of time in which you have an opportunity to make a difference. I have observed that in the office that I work that people are whether they like it or not, the same. There will always be conflict, power struggle, and a touch of self-centeredness, no matter what stage of life you are in. Think back to high school, how you couldn’t wait to get out, and life would be so different, so much easier, time to grow up. If you are like me, I wonder where the time goes. Life’s magical stages are no easier from one to the next. However, what the deciding difference is the power of presence, voice, and awareness. The cure to ignorance is education. The occurrence of discrimination could be deterred by tolerance. Why am I surrounded by people who are so educated, but I am still feeling like I am not where I should be? This time of volunteerism for me may not be making a difference in society, but a time to find myself. Where do I fit in? I am not an adult, but not really a child. In our organizations, we are representing college students as a social group, and I fear I may let you down. I am not bound by ignorance, intolerance, or sheer arrogance. I want to learn and let others know someone out there cares. Why is our society so bound to a social class? We are taught we are all not the same, but we all want to fit a specific mold.
I am tired of pretension, tired of pretending I am somebody I am not. I love all people, no matter your color, sexual preference, religion, hair color, eye color, what vehicle you drive, what college you went to, how educated you are, how you dress… think of all the injustices in the world that happen because of intolerance of these things. There is a quote I have known since high school:
"Twenty years from nowyou will be more disappointedby the things you didn't dothan by the ones you did do.So throw off the bowlines,sail away from the safe harbor.Catch the trade winds in your sails.Explore. Dream. Discover."Mark Twain
So what I am coming down to after my many tangents of journaling is this: Make a difference. Your own kind of difference. Take time to listen. Don’t be confined by society class system. Only you have the power to make a difference in your world. Break the mold. Show society the next generation is here and ready to end the strife. Ignorance is not bliss and by making a difference in one person’s life, you really can change the world. I realize this may not be the certain type of journal that is expected, but I need a change in my life. It may not be one giant leap, but in a few grand strides, one at a time.